There is 2 more days for the year 2014 to expire. I cant wait for it. This year has been quite a drama for me and my family. We had to cope up with a lot of emotional trauma from the very beginning of the damn year. one good thing that happened was i completed my graduation but there was no reason for me to be happy for it. I was still a jobless graduate. Hailing from a typical conventional south Indian family, i had pressure of a lot of things, even in the 21st century , my family relatives believed in caste and orthodox beliefs. The start of 2014 was infact the start of my parents finding a groom for me to settle down with. it was not really my parents's idea, but my grandmother. she thinks doing things like this helps my family get over a lot of emotional stress , not knowing she is adding on to it.
My life at home was my personal hell. i hated and felt extremely uncomfortable about the fact my parents who once a upon a time condemned me about my relationship with sebastian was actually forcing me and asking me to decide to live an eternity with this man I did n know existed until them. initially i thought the who thing will just fade, i mean i could just say i don't want this and they would be cool with. but of-course like i have mentioned before my life was twisted. they just wanted me out of their house. my grandmother was literally saying was a burden to my family and my parents never for once objected that statement.
after a long thought and pressure i agreed to this boy tom weaver who was a well settled boy living in Deutschland. well honestly i didn't like it at all I don't blame him for not being perfect, but we were two different poles. my parents thought i need a boy who had to drink and smoke blah blah, which was true because i had a lifestyle subjected to it and i still think its cool. there is always a reason why some people dont get along and a some people do. its because their way of thinking match upto 90%.
due to the pressure at my place, i had to agree to this boy whom i had no instant connection with but in fact felt extremely uncomfortable. He is an excellent by with a very open minded approach and outlook towards things but was conventional in his own way. i was scared to indulge but was FORCED to because my parents will be happy and yes they were.
i was the first child and hence was bought up with the thought that i have to grateful to my parents for my very life and will have to listen to them and owe everything i have to them. i have to not decide anything on my own no matter what. be it my clothes, the bike i ride, my education, my career, my life partner. it was difficult because they never realised they were from an entirely different generation and we were from another. it was a need to prove to the society with the blind folded faith that parents are unhappy children are to be blame. i was subjected to entirely and had almost succumbed!!
As this year passes by and is almost to an end, i have lost hopes on myself, y decision making capacity and the very identity. i was not a unique person of my own but a puppet my parents had stitched together.
My life at home was my personal hell. i hated and felt extremely uncomfortable about the fact my parents who once a upon a time condemned me about my relationship with sebastian was actually forcing me and asking me to decide to live an eternity with this man I did n know existed until them. initially i thought the who thing will just fade, i mean i could just say i don't want this and they would be cool with. but of-course like i have mentioned before my life was twisted. they just wanted me out of their house. my grandmother was literally saying was a burden to my family and my parents never for once objected that statement.
after a long thought and pressure i agreed to this boy tom weaver who was a well settled boy living in Deutschland. well honestly i didn't like it at all I don't blame him for not being perfect, but we were two different poles. my parents thought i need a boy who had to drink and smoke blah blah, which was true because i had a lifestyle subjected to it and i still think its cool. there is always a reason why some people dont get along and a some people do. its because their way of thinking match upto 90%.
due to the pressure at my place, i had to agree to this boy whom i had no instant connection with but in fact felt extremely uncomfortable. He is an excellent by with a very open minded approach and outlook towards things but was conventional in his own way. i was scared to indulge but was FORCED to because my parents will be happy and yes they were.
i was the first child and hence was bought up with the thought that i have to grateful to my parents for my very life and will have to listen to them and owe everything i have to them. i have to not decide anything on my own no matter what. be it my clothes, the bike i ride, my education, my career, my life partner. it was difficult because they never realised they were from an entirely different generation and we were from another. it was a need to prove to the society with the blind folded faith that parents are unhappy children are to be blame. i was subjected to entirely and had almost succumbed!!
As this year passes by and is almost to an end, i have lost hopes on myself, y decision making capacity and the very identity. i was not a unique person of my own but a puppet my parents had stitched together.
